50 Things Jasper Isn’t Allowed to Do…
by The Real Emmett Cullen
Summary: 50 Things Jasper Is NOT Allowed to Do… rated T because i mention the wors S*X.... Sorry if that offends some ppl lol


**50 Things Jasper Isn't Allowed to Do…**

"Jasper You know why were here." Carlisle said.

"Dad were here because your making jasper read a gay list, that were not going to listen to." I said.

"Emmett, you will not break the rules." Carlisle said.

"Whatever." I said.

"READ Jasper." Carlisle said.

"Okay." Jasper started reading

* * *

1. Im not allowed 2 report Carlisle as a suspected terrorist.

2. Im not allowed 2 run into Carlisle's hospital screaming, 'daddy! What are you doing to them? WHY DADDY, WHY?' In fact, just generally do not visit Carlisle at work for any reason unless it is an emergency.

not allowed 2 make Edward think his gay.

not allowed 2 tell Emmett he has a Twin.

not allowed 2 Make Mike Newton want Bella.

not allowed 2 Change Anyone's emotions if there mad at me.

not allowed 2 change Emmett emotions to crazy/hyper

not allowed 2 change Bella's emotions to Angry for Edward leaving her.

not allowed 2 make Edward Super Happy

not allowed 2 make Rose think she is Ugly

not allowed 2 Mix Emotions to the werewolf's.

not allowed 2 Hunt humans.

not allowed 2 paint Alice Nails.

"Why did you put that in there." Jasper asked.

"I put that in there so you don't have to do it, for her." I said.

"Great." he said.

not allowed 2 make Emmett Cry when I beat him in halo.

not allowed 2 Tell anyone that Carlisle isn't my daddy he stole me from the Army, and Im a marten child.

"What the Hell." Jasper asked. I laughed.

"Its not on my list." I said

not allowed 2 dye my hair.

not allowed 2 go to Wal-Mart with Emmett EVER.

not allowed 2 Say rose might be my twin, but she the heartless one.

not allowed 2 go shopping with Alice.

"YES." Jasper screamed.

"No." Alice yelled and dry sobbed.

"It on the list sweetheart." Jasper said, she dry sobbed.

"Fine ill take it off the list." jasper said, she stopped sobbing and jumped up and down.

not allowed 2 Hang out with Leah, Her Depression with hurt me.

not allowed 2 yell 'Edward tried to kiss me.' and change his emotions so people see it..

not allowed 2 make rose fall for Edward, and Bella fall for Emmett.

"WHAT." they all yelled.

"Ive never thought of that/." jasper said shaking.

"Sure." we all said

not allowed 2 Go to Miami. *After What happened.*

"What happened." Nessie asked.

not allowed 2 talk About what happened.

"WHY." Nessie Ran to Edward.

"Pretty Please Daddy." she cried.

"um I don't know the story sweetie." he told her. She ran to me.

"Pretty please uncle jazzy." she cried again.

not allowed 2 Fall for Nessie's Pretty please act, Leave it for Edward.

not allowed 2 Ride Edwards Car.

not allowed 2 have a North vs. South Debate with Emmett

not allowed 2 have Sex in Eddie's Car.

not allowed 2 have sex at school

not allowed 2 have sex on the couch.

not allowed 2 have sex anywhere besides my bedroom.

"Why did I get the Sex ones Shouldn't Emmett." Jasper yelled.

"Its always the Quiet ones little bro." I said. He glared.

not allowed 2 burn Rosalie's brush

not allowed 2 break Rosalie mirror and say 'what your just to ugly'

not allowed 2 Rob a bank and make the people feel happy about me doing it..

not allowed 2 to Help Emmett with his Pranks.

not allowed 2 Be immature like Emmett.

not allowed 2 make Emmett More immature.

not allowed 2 to Rap…At all

not allowed 2 Sing "If you were gay" in my head

not allowed 2 make Nessie fall for a human, and tell Jake that she doesn't like being imprinted.

not allowed 2 lie to Carlisle and Esme about what me and Emmett did to Edward, at Emmett's Bachelors Party

"What did you do." Bella asked.

"Nothing just a stripe club, for Emmett's 6th wedding, and had a woman almost give Eddie a lap dance." Jasper said. Bella Smiled, we already told her this story, the truth was Edward got away way before anything happened

"What's a lap dance." Nessie asked, I laughed.

"Don't you dare tell her Read on." Rose yelled.

not allowed 2 Help Emmett Tell Nessie About how Birds and Bee.

not allowed 2 Help Emmett Tell Nessie how to curse

not allowed 2 Tell Nessie what a lap dance is.

not allowed 2 Tell Nessie Things a 9 year old shouldn't know

not allowed 2 Hurt Guys that look at Alice or Make them Fall for another girl.

not allowed 2 play football with Emmett inside,

not allowed 2 play kickball with Emmett EVER.

not allowed 2 sing in Spanish.

not allowed 2 Baby-sit Nessie with Emmett. EVER NEVER EVER EVER NEVER..

"How come he only has 50." I asked.

"Because he isn't as bad as You." Rose said.

"Im Not bad." I said.

"Sure, You had 100 I only had 50 you're a Loser." Jasper said, I Lunged at him.. and there was A BIG **_CRASH_**

51. Im Not allowed to make Fun of Emmett and let him attack me and break Esme's Living room Set..

* * *

**That's it, We Found Making jasper's harder then Mine.**

**Jasper is a Goodie 2 shoes..**

**TREC**

***The Real Emmett Cullen.* Review.**

**Alice Is next. On r list lol Who is Ready for it**


End file.
